How can you harden yourself to the world?

My friend *Malcolm had done exaclty that. He believed in no-one and who could blame him in this increasingly selfish world. His only goal? To seek power and revenge on the people did him wrong. " Tall story" I hear you scoff. And no, I did not have an overdose of chinese WuXia novels. Nor am going into how i am like that too. I thought it too selfish of me to know the story of malcolm and bottle it inside me.Indeed it has grow too burdensome for me, someone who hadn't experienced life enough to totally empathise with his situation.

This is his story.

Malclom started going out with his girfriend since the end of his secondary school days. In the beginning she was the perfect girlfriend,accomadating,demure,everything a guy wanted. Gradually however, she became more and more possessive, so much so that everytime they went out together, he would only look down, fearing that she might suspect him of orgling at girls . When friends asked him he would only say that he was tired. He gave up Gaming,Television, even magazines and in the end he was either with her ,sleeping or studying. At this point of time he was already in Junior College. Despite his studying commitments, he was also moon-lighting,to sustain an income to support her. Her polytechnic school fees,books, handphone bills, allowance, everything she wanted was provided for by him. The amount was usually in thousands.

One day, near the beginning of the A levels eveything fell apart. His Girlfriend had quarrelled with him over some thing most of us would have ignored. Depressed he turned to his friends for help, only to realise that they betrayed him to his girlfriend after that. He asked her what he could do to forgive him. She asked him to commit suicide which was exactly what he did.

He tried jumping from his flat but could not find the courage. Cursing himself for his lack of courage, he turned to panadols instead. Within hours he was coughing out blood. His parents came back to find a Farewell message on the dinning table and their son shivering in cold sweat. He was immediately rushed to the hospital.

When he finally came to the first person he saw was his girlfriend. His happiness quickly shrivelled to despair and finally to anger when she said everything was not over yet. He tried to talk but couldn't find his voice. He pleaded through his eyes for her to just let the matter rest. Finally he signalled for the nurse for her to get her out. His stay in hospital was a welcome retreat from eveything that had happened. He got better just in time for his last paper.

After taking his paper he set out to do what he had planned so meticulously for in hospital. He got himself a few litres of kerosene and under the cover of night set out to the house of the two friends of betrayed him. Luckily, his college friends stopped him in time just as he was about to strike the match.

From that incident on Malcolm no longer trusted anyone but his college friends.

I can almost imagine the incredous look on your face but believe me you, there is someone out there who had experienced it. And i wish with all my heart that somehow someday, he will find a way out of the trauma. I am sure that there are others out there who had experienced much more than he had experienced. And even though sometimes, your hatred of the world may cause your judgement of how this world operates, there are also care about in this world.