The Incredibles


After blogging about my traumatic experience I had in school, my family prepared for the reunion dinner which was the simple affair of steamboat.



My sister, a self-professed soup drinker, was just raring to go.

After my mother came back, the table was set and five minutes later, I was going for my second serving.



But alas, what should I find but an empty rice cooker.

I sastisfied my hunger by eating more fishballs, crab-meat and had the funny feeling of de jevu

My mother helped to liven up the atmosphere by repeatedly saying that the fishballs were delicious and the chilli was good for popiah and Pie Tee each time with a different sentence structure. Don't understand? Behold Exhibit A.

******

Exhibit A

" Wah. The chilli got strong garlic smell, good for popiah and Pie Tee hor?"

" Popiah and Pie Tee would go perfectly with this chilli given its pungnent garlic twang."

" You know this chilli..."

she would say to everybody and no body in particular.

*****

As I counted the fifth repetition of what would probably win her the Oscar for the best food critic ,I saw my sister single-handedly drain what was left of the soup and besreeched her to stop acting like a water tank.

She vehemently denied that she was acting like one and declared that she indeed was a human reincarnate of the water tank.

I kept expecting my father to belch any moment to break the deafening silence but for some reason, that did not happen.

My mother started her rheotric on her fishballs which she insisted she had lost the package for and hence there was no way there was a chance of eating them again in this lifetime.

My father decidedly bored with the droning, took action.

" Don't talk so much la," he said slowly and for added effect, wiped the sweat off his bald head.

Expecting a full-fledge war to ensue in precisely three minutes, I called for reinforcements which came in the form of an Orange Marinda and if that was an option, popcorn, sweet.

"Don't say me la." She started,

"Last time I ask you do things, take so long to do."

My father took a defensive front.

" What only sia. That night I told you I was going out," he was speaking a little faster now

" Then you ask me cut the watermelon. When I gave it to you the freshly cut watermelon, you nearly had the fits because you thought I had gone out."

My mother then started her counter-argument.

" You say this like the third time le."

My father was alert.

" This is only my first time."

My sister and I then proceeded to nod to substantiate his claim.

" Your sneeze hor the whole block can hear." my sister accused.

This time my mother and I nodded in approval.

And the time after...


After the dinner, I went out with my friends. As I stepped out from the bus into Tampines Interchange, a thought entered my mind.



Where was everybody?


Everywhere I looked there was no one. Even the newspaper stand I usually bought my newpaper from was glaringly missing.

In fact it looked the place was so deserted, I suspected taufiq's performance to be somewhere in the west, therefore accounting for the mass exodus there.




Alan, Zi Yi and I were the first to reach, followed by Jia Hui who Zi Yi told me was becoming something of a tyrant in BMTC.

Being Army Boys , we had a good solid 1 and a 1/2 hour of Army talk not unlike the one below.

****

Exhibit B

Sotong Seng: Hey, Ah Hock ah , the bunks in Orion right, underneath their windows got fugus not ah?

Ah Hock: Got la. A lot sia. I think last time the land on which our building is standing on was a mushroom plantation la. Somemore our bunk always dark and humid, perfect enviroment for them sia.

Saboh Leong: Ya lor. Last time, my sergeant pump us 1000 times.

Ah Hock: Wah, really ah. I only run 100 butterfly leg raises ah. Looks like I had it easy sia.

At this moment Saboh Leong has a smug look on his face since it was him who contributed spore-producing plant as his mother gave him some dang gui for him to cook in camp.

****

Just as Zi yi was edging in his last argument to appear to have a more shiong BMT than us, Wendy appeared from no where, which I suspect to be the other side of the wall. David Blaine sure had his disciples.

If you are wondering who the joker with the cap is, he is Zi Yi who vainly told us that he had a receeding hairline.

Trusting no one, Wendy perferred to take pictures her way.

We headed home after making sure the sofa was warmed enough for the next group.

Just for the record, we weren't the only sorry souls at starsbucks.

And after that ...

As the clock struck twelve on new year's eve, everyone seemed to have changed back into their more humble and definitely more gracious , Cinderalla, a phenomenon which unfortunately ocurred only once every year.

Even the Bus Uncle seemed extra nice as Alan and I boarded the Bus.

He was so nice he even added a Gong Xi Fa Cai after berating a young un who apparently forgot to scan his E-Z link card.

The poor kid had in fact scanned it. Realising his mistake, he apologised profusely and immediately blamed his bad ear.

To All My Faithful Readers,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!