A $20 Taxi Ride

I was miling around one morning reading the papers ,happily minding my own business when an article on the front page caught my eye.


Making Samaritans of all Singaporeans

It talks about how Singaporeans become good Samaritans in the face of a couple stranded in a foreign country. And get this. Even Taxis drove them around free when they hear their story.
Either the wife is a wonderful story-teller or I am not pitiful enough.

Usually from what I see most often, the sales person would hike their prices up at least 300% and then pretend to give a 50% discount when they bargain. And here they are giving free rides.

Now I know Taxi rides cannot possibly be mysteriously increased right? wrong.

There was once I was in a cab breaking out in cold sweat. My eyes were fixated on the meter which is jumping as if there were no tomorrow. If I were to feel my heartbeat then, I bet that it would be slower than how fast the meter was jumping. Believe me when I say my heart was pounding.

When I got off at my destination, the Taxi uncle watched me emptying my wallet as if I were crazy. I found coins in my pockets, dollars notes mixed with receipts and finally my cashcard which when totalled together, only barely made the fare.

I paid $10 for a usually $5 journey.

The meter was rigged I tell you.


Saving money on waiting-time at zebra crossings has never been easier

When the situation like this arises it is best to have one of things below with you.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Expensive Taxi Fares

1. A box of scotch with a empty scotch bottle containing coffee and/or sarsi.
2. A handphone
3. A friend

1. The Scotch Sacrifice

When you have reached your destination, make a great show of arriving late for your friend's late night drinking party. But you don't have enough money on you. Suggest then maybe he could hold the scotch hostage while you go and borrow money from your friends. Run like the wind if he opens the bottle to take a drink.

2. Bird droppings

Almost all Taxi drivers are afraid of having pigeons' poo on their rooftop. Make use of the phobia by messaging your Sister at home five minutes before you reach home. Tell her that you are going to play a prank on your friend( who conveniently is a Taxi driver) and to drizzle an entire tube of toothpaste on his car when he comes below your block.

3. A friend in need is a friend in deed

Make your friend sit in the front seat, suggesting that the journey to your home has some breath-taking scenery. Bolt out of the car the first thing you reach home.

p.s I have never tried these tricks before and should the Taxi driver catch up with you, never mention my name or my blog.

But the problem doesn't end in the meters themselves. Sometimes the Taxi driver are so ill mannered I fear that the government would bring back the courtesy campaign. Hey wait. They are still on, aren't they?

Below is a typical case in point.

My friends and I have tried 3 Taxis asking for them to bring us back to camp which is only less an 2 mintues away. Suddenly the Taxi drivers all live in Tampines and Bedok and show no knowledge of such a camp.

On our fifth try I was so frustrated I closed the door with a little more force than I had intended and the response I got was the most colourful Hokkien poem completed with finger waving. You got to admit ,these Taxi drivers know their languages.

Fortunately, there are exceptions.

It was raining when I stepped into the Cab at Boon Lay MRT station. My jeans were soaked through and my toes were wringling in cold muddy water. The air-con was blowing in my face.
A buddha figure dangled under the rear view mirror.

" Tampines MRT station please," I asked through chattering teeth.

Realising I may not have enough money, I checked my wallet and true enough I only got $20.

"eh, uncle ah, Twenty Dollars enough not ah?" I enquired , kicking myself for not bringing a scotch bottle.

He smiled so serenely I thought he was going to levitate out of his seat any moment.

Throughout the journey we chatted about the weather, the government ( an essential must-know of all Taxi drivers) and how the Taxi business was . I was , however more concerned with the fare.

$5, $10 , $15 and still the meter showed no signs of slowing down.

At $18.00, he smiled cheekyly at me , winked and pushed the stop button. Tampines MRT station wasn't nowhere near where we were.

When I alighted, I gave him $20.

" Thanks uncle!"

But as I closed the door and turned to go , he called me back.

"Anytime, son," he said, smiling, the wrinkles on his face suddenly fading to nothingness.

He shoved a crisp new $2 note back at me.

Now it was my turn to smile.