Homecoming

Coming home on Fridays is always a wonderful experience not only because of the Nasi lemak but also because of the sense of familiarity whenever I step into Eastpoint. I have lost the number of times I have popped into KFC for a spot of zinger and come out a happier man.

It is fitting therefore to dedicate an entry to this neighbourhood I have called home for a good 6 years.

Simei or 四美 gets it's name from the four beauties in Chinese history, Xishi(西施), Wang Zhaojun(王昭君), Diao Chan(貂蝉) and Yang Guifei(杨贵妃).

The history of these four beauties are replete with amazing stories.

It is said that Xi shi's beauty was so resplendent that while leaning over a balcony to look at the fish in the pond, the fish would be so dazzled that they forgot to swim and gradually sunk away from the surface, birds would forget to fly and fall from the sky and the moon would fade. To complete the already jaw-dropping imagery, flowers have been said to close their petals in ignominy when near her.

I don't know about petals closing but the neighbourhood that I have come to love is quiet, tranquil and honestly, I am satisfied with that. Back in my army days , I would meet my friend at Eastpoint and after a quick bite we would traipse to one of the seats in the void decks and there he would teach me a magic trick or two. The four beauties would smile upon us as I tried to palm a card and I remember clearly wondering what the devil they were doing there. It looked like the decorative wall of a olden day Chinese brothel. Suffice to say, I happily forgot most of the magic tricks.

Simei is not without it's fun side. Just a few hours ago as I was walking past the same spot, I saw a couple canoodling each other as a team of Sepat Takraw players behind them got their match on the way. I postulated that maybe the couple got high to the shouts and the occasional squeal that emanated behind them. I never got round to confirming it as a Sepat Takraw ball whizzed past my head and narrowly missed my left ear.

According to Wikipedia,the town planners originally named some roads in Simei after the four beauties but replaced it because the non Chinese population had difficulties pronouncing them. That was a masterstroke. I can almost picture the scenario .

"How to get to she-she street ah?"

I would imagine inhabitants of the blocks along that street would be none too pleased.Now, we have Simei streets 1 to 6. Not a terribly windswept and debonair affair to begin with but at least it works.

Near my home is the only park in Simei, creatively called the Simei park. It consists of a playground, an elderly fitness corner and jogging tracks that is as minimalistic as one can get. They were just concrete walkpaths with one addition -distance markings. That is why I normally go for my jogs around the estate instead of in the park itself. It is too monotonous.

Key in hand, I would sneak past Eastpoint and upon reaching Changi General Hospital , scuttle across the road to Chankat Changi Secondary School ,make a loop for ITE College East and reach home base just in time for breakfast. The route was great as long as the storm clouds kept their distance and the school children out of the way.

Now, it is not my nature to boast but I am convinced that the vegetarian beehoon below the block next to mine is one of the very best. I should know - I spent many a beautiful morning there beehoon on the table, nursing my Milo Dinosaur.

Next to it, we have surprise surprise, a barber. It is one of those old school barbers who still has the very prominent red and blue spinning cylinders which I think borders on being hypnotic. I have lost count the number of times I sat on the plastic chairs of the beehoon store and upon looking at the trance-inducing thing be overcome by an overbearing desire to have my hair trimmed. It is most peculiar.

Being one of the questions I have always wanted to ask let me state for the record the scientific name of the harmless looking thing. It is called a Barber Pole. And it is not found only in Singapore. A quick search led me back to the medieval times. During those days, barbers also performed surgery on customers as well as tooth extractions. Assuredly a more intricate affair than today's barber, the pole itself also represents the staff that the patient gripped during the procedure to encourage blood flow.

Wikipedia also states that the red and white stripes symbolize the bandages used during the procedure: red for the blood-stained and white for the clean bandages. Originally, these bandages were hung out on the pole to dry after washing and as the bandages blew in the wind, they would twist together to form the spiral pattern similar to the stripes in the modern day barber pole. This was ground breaking stuff and it was all happening 10 stories below. I bet you never knew. That makes two of us before today.

If you were to ask me to pick between the barber downstairs and the 10 min QB house at Eastpoint I would beyond a shadow of a doubt pick the barber below. Those uncles sure can chat more than the face-masked aunties of QB any day, free comb not withstanding. Besides, I do not like the idea that I am paying SGD 1 dollar for every minute. With the uncles, I am sure I am getting my money's worth with colourful updates to the political scene thrown in absolutely free of charge.

These two already take the cake for interesting shops 2 minutes from my doorstep but careful government planning has also placed not one but 2 grocery shops and a clinic whose doctor is about the only one in Singapore who can cure my uclers. He would take a cursory peek at my lips ,write the prescription ,in his doctor's handwriting no less and within minutes I would be out of there, medication in hand like a happy school boy. I would have a bath, put slapped on a bit of cream and the very next day I would be ready for a KFC family feast. I once visited the neighbour polyclinic , gleefully went home for having saved enough for 2 zinger meals and the very next day found 2 more daughter uclers . It is most upsetting.

Then we lose the rent a place and run your business concept and trade for the run your business from your own living room concept. Just 2 steps away from ucler healer's HQ is a home-based Roller Blading School. That is all well and good but it would be better if the sweaty knee guards and rollerskates did not stink up the 2 metres of corridor. I have had the misfortune of walking into the dank wall of air and had a fleeting glimpse of the deadland marshes in Lord of the rings. I nearly fell into their Koi pond.

When I am not terrorising the friendly storekeepers of street 1, I am beside the Simei MRT at Eastpoint level 1. This is almost always a given. With the heavenly( and I am not joking when I say this) aromas of KFC beckoning me, it is always hard to find my way up the other floors. Another must visit is the Pet Safari hidden just behind the Burger King. They had just undergone a face lift and if I may say something from a purely objective point of view, the Pet Safari before rocked. The one now, flopped. Thankfully it still has the cute hamsters which never fails to amuse anyone regardless of age, language or religion.

Not 5 metres from Eastpoint is the row of shops, one of which I get my weekly dose of Nasi Lemak at. That stretch could easily replace Eastpoint without a bat of an eyelid. There are not 1, not 2 but 3 coffee shops, 2 handphone shops, a salon, a VCD rental outlet, a confectionary , a vegetable stall, a photoshop cum past year's test papers shop, a dentist, a hardware outfit, a groceries place and to top it all off, my mum's favourite hang out, a baker's wonderland, Phoon Huat.

I thought I have Phoon Huat to thank for all the cookies my mum has baked but it's website told me otherwise . Steeped in history and tradition, the company was established in 1947 by a certain Wong Tai Fuang when he moved to Singapore from Hainan Island in China and set up a shop at Middle road. So thank you Mr. Wong. You rock.

Upon closer inspection and an in depth analysis I think to replace Eastpoint would be a mistake. It is the KFC. I cannot live without it.